


Her Duty

by sheepister



Category: Vinland Saga (Manga)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29440467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepister/pseuds/sheepister
Summary: Three husbands, but still her first time.
Relationships: Gudrid/Thorfinn (Vinland Saga)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 31





	1. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first night.

This had been the third wedding she’d gone through, and yet it felt so different. The first one had hardly been a wedding at all; only a formality through letters that her family celebrated nonetheless, even with the  bridegroom an ocean away. She’d felt nothing but a twinge of relief when Leif returned with news of his death. 

The second had left her a ball of nerves. She’d tried so hard to give in, to feel nothing in the same way she’d felt nothing when she was given word of Thorstein’s death. But she had never been the kind to bottle up her emotions. 

And now, the emotions bubbled over. She hardly knew Thorfinn—though she knew him much more than she had known Sigurd—and yet every time he touched her hand or her arm or her waist, she felt as if she were on a cloud. His lips during the ceremony had pressed awkwardly against hers, and yet all the same she’d melted at the heat of his breath.

Karli had been whisked away by Einar with a laugh, and Gudrid and Thorfinn had been ushered to bed, where they were left alone. That’s when Gudrid’s heart started pounding with a familiar tinge of dread. Something Thorfinn seemed to have picked up on as they sat side by side on their cot.  _ Their _ cot.

“What’s the matter?” She blinked and looked to him. Concern was written all over his face as he rested his hand on his leg and leaned in like he could be able to read her mind if he just got a better look at her eyes. ...She’d never noticed before, but his eyes looked like honey. They shined like it under the fire’s light.

“I-- It’s nothing. I’m fine,” she insisted, turning her gaze from his and pressing her hands to her cheeks. Why did he have to be so caring?! It drove her half-mad, the way it made her feel. 

“We don’t have to do anything. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want.”

“ Wh \-- No!” She made him jolt with how quickly she swung around and shook her head. “No! No, I’m just... I’m scared that it’ll be like last time.” 

“When you stabbed--”

_ “Yes,” _ she groaned, her face reddening as she cut him off to avoid the embarrassment of him saying the whole thing. When she stabbed Sigurd. Her husband. She avoided his gaze again, but could feel his eyes on her. “I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to lie back and accept it, but the moment he started undoing my clothes, I just--” 

She made a stabbing gesture, and timidly glanced to Thorfinn. She expected a look. What kind of a look? Confusion, maybe. Horror. Mild entertainment. But that’s not what she was given. His eyes gazed at her severely, with a deep understanding she could only speculate about. 

“I know how that feels.”

“Huh?” She knit her brows, and this time, it was his gaze that averted. Not out of shame, like her. It was as if he were looking into another world. She’d noticed he did that a lot. Einar had said he had quite the past; that he’d been a warrior since he was a child. What had he gone through? What was he remembering?

Instinctively, she reached her hand out and gripped his. A warm hand, calloused and thick. It seemed to tear him from his thoughts. He raised his brows as he came back down to Earth, and then smiled at her. She was melting again.

“Ah...” He continued where he’d left off. “Don’t worry. You can’t hurt me. Even if you hurt me, I won’t mind.” His palm slipped from hers and he began pulling off his tunic. She expected it, but all the same she gasped and turned a bright, hot red and was just about to put her hands to her eyes when—She realized he’d stopped there. He’d revealed his bare chest, full of scars, and was pointing to a large one across his bicep.

“You see? I’ve gotten this one from a sword. These ones are scars from being hit with arrows. This is a gash from falling from too high a height--” He carefully explained them, though he admitted somewhere along the way that he couldn’t remember exactly how he’d gotten the vast majority of them. It mesmerized her, both from the sheer strength of his stature and the vast number of scars. She knew men and women were different, but this was a chest unlike she’d ever seen. And as she stared at the whole picture, every scar, she realized something that made her crack a smile.

“It looks like a map,” she murmured, recalling a memory, long ago, of sitting on a beach as lines were drawn on the sand.

“Does it?” Thorfinn raised his brows again, but then shrugged. “You see? It’s like a drop in the ocean. It’s okay. Even if you stab me.” 

“What kind of a wife am I, where my husband has to say something like that,” Gudrid murmured under her breath. For a moment, she glanced back toward the flickering fire. Maybe she wasn’t cut out for any of this. Maybe she’d be another disappointment to another husband. 

Thorfinn’s hand touched her hip. Her nervousness bubbled, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” He spoke, his voice as soft and warm as the embers burning out the cold ground.

“It’s okay,” she replied with a nod. She felt a tug as he pulled at and undid her belt. Her palms were getting clammy, stuck to the wood border of their cot as she held on for dear life. Though he hadn’t pushed her down and loomed over her like Sigurd had that night, it was all too similar. She could still feel that dreadful look in his eyes. The sting of the slap to her face that had lingered for over a day and bruised yellow. Bitch, he’d called her. Bitch. 

She could feel her heavy coat slip down her shoulders, the cold easily piercing her thin undershirt. She felt that strong hand  touch her waist again, and without thinking, her hand lurched.

“I’m  sor \--” Her eyes shot open as she yelled an apology, but it stopped halfway through when she saw her hand hadn’t even reached anywhere. Her balled fist was held an inch from Thorfinn’s face, by his gentle, calloused hand. Dwarfing her own. And he was smiling. Why did he smile like that? Why was he always so understanding? What kind of a  man--?

“You don’t have to lie to me. We can just tell everyone we’ve done it, if they ask. I don’t mind.” The words hit her like a cannonball. He didn’t mind? She stared at him in shock, forgetting to even protest as let go of her hand to pull her coat back up over her shoulders. He dropped down so easily beside her. He was going to sleep? She watched him incredulously as he closed his eyes, only to open one a moment later.

“Please don’t stare at me like that. It’s fine, really. We can just go to sleep.”

“Ah...” The surprise of it all influenced her to lay down beside him. His arm slithered beneath her head, to act as a pillow. It’s fine, he’d said. She tried to close her eyes. It’s fine. It’s fine--

“IT ISN’T FINE!” She threw herself upward again, Thorfinn jolting in response. His wide eyes gave her confidence. Her coat was thrown off in a rush, and then her undershirt, and her pants, and by the time she had torn everything off for him, she was panting. Then the cold set in, and she realized that Thorfinn hadn’t moved from staring at her with wide eyes, and her face started to redden again, and— And she’d never been nude like this in front of a man. She covered herself with her hands, and only once her embarrassment set in, did Thorfinn laugh. That made her want to try and hit him again.

“I wish I could be so sure of everything I want, too,” he said as he sat up. ...What did that mean? She wished she could understand it, when he said things like that. When he had that look in his eyes. “I admire you, Gudrid.” Her cheeks burned, and she began to wonder how the hell she’d mustered up the courage to tear off all her clothes like that, the moment Thorfinn’s hands reached out to hold her sides. He ran his dry fingers over her ribs so tenderly, the warmth of them making her gasp. 

“You’re soft,” he told her, with the tone of a man learning something for the first time. ...He’d been a viking, right? Hadn’t he touched a woman before? She thought that was what they were known for. Raping and pillaging. Though looking at Thorfinn, she could hardly imagine him doing anything like that. But he’d apparently killed countless people, so...

“I’m sorry,” he said again. Maybe she’d made too much of a face at his words. “It’s just. I’ve seen women and never really understood it. I’ve never been this up close. ...Could I see your... Your chest?” Huh? She’d been so surprised by his reaction, like a newborn deer learning about flowers for the first time, that she’d forgotten her hands were over her chest. Curiosity and confusion drove her to rest her hands at her sides without a lick of shame. 

“You’ve never done anything with a woman before?” She asked, her body tingling as he cupped her breasts and held them like they were made of gold. 

“No,” he admitted. He gently squeezed one of her breasts, and she found herself reminded of the way Karli would prod her when she held him in her arms. But these hands were large, and rough, and dried her skin as they held her. “I’ve seen it. I know what happens. I just never understood it.” That’s when he gave her a grin, bright and wide.

“I understand now.” 

She’d married such a strange man. ...But she was a strange woman, wasn’t she? Maybe they were meant for each other.

“Uhm. I guess—I guess I’ll lie down,” She stammered, shifting in the cot so she could lie on her back. Thorfinn was a short man, but with how wide he was, he looked so intimidating from this angle. He’d turned away from her to remove his pants. Whereas she’d thrown her clothes off in a second, it felt like an eternity for her as she watched him undress. He turned back to her, and suddenly she understood that feeling Thorfinn had, the way he played with her breasts.

She knew what men had. She wasn’t stupid. She had brothers. She’d cleaned Karli. But this wasn’t the same thing. It was dark, and the tip of it such an angry red, standing out in the blonde hairs around it. That was meant to go in a woman? No wonder why the first time supposedly hurt. What kind of a cruel joke did God play on women, to live this sort of life? Surely whatever Eve had done, it wasn’t something she should be held accountable for. Her breath caught in her throat as Thorfinn shuffled over her, resting a hand beside her head. 

“You can still tell me if you changed your mind,” Thorfinn spoke. He had that severe look on his face again. Had she been making another face? She gulped and shook her head. 

“It’s okay,” She insisted, her hands reaching up to hold his shoulders for reassurance. 

“I don’t want to hurt you. Every time I’ve seen it--”

“It’s okay,” she told him again, cutting him off. She searched his honey eyes. He’d known nothing but the life of a  viking for a good chunk of his life. He’d only seen rape, was that what he was saying? “It’s okay. Like you told me. It’s okay.” Not that it was a drop in the ocean for her; it was still her first time. He didn’t seem to believe her words, either- he frowned. But all the same, he didn’t pull away. He fondled her breast again, and she wondered if she was meant to feel something when he did. He pulled her legs up, and even through her nervousness, she found herself enjoying the way Thorfinn’s brows knit as he focused on what he was doing. Like he was trying to focus on tying a knot, with how concentrated he was. 

Her legs were thrust up further, further than she expected them to be. She sucked in her breath, all at once feeling it somewhat hard to breathe with the way his calloused hands pinned her thighs to her body. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. Silent. The only noise being the crackling of the fire, and their breaths. Was it really that long, or did it just _ feel  _ so long? God, she was so exposed. She squeezed her eyes shut again, waiting for it to be done with.

“Hold your leg up,” he murmured to her. 

“Ah?” She opened her eyes and obliged, taking the place of one of his hands with holding her leg up. It felt so horribly shameful to look down between their bodies, but it seemed he had to... Hold himself. To lead himself in. Her cheeks flared at the sight, and she turned her head away to instead stare at the fire again. ...Would it burn?

She felt the heat of his pelvis against her rear first. Whenever she thought about being with a man, she didn’t think about that part. Silly in hindsight;  of course she’d feel the rest of his body against her. She felt pressure against her hymen, and then--

While Gudrid sucked in her breath, Thorfinn groaned. A sound unlike she’d ever heard a man make before. When she looked back at him, his face was as red as hers. She’d only been able to glimpse it before he leaned down over her and pressed his face into the crook of her neck. At once, she was pinned. The weight of him restricted her breath, and as he began to move his body, she found herself unable to resist gasping each time. It didn’t fit. She felt like she was being stretched like a piece of clothing over someone who’d outgrown it. Her eyes shut, but she steeled herself.

She couldn’t let Thorfinn know it hurt. He’d stop and she’d have failed as a wife yet again. Instead, Gudrid buried her own face in Thorfinn’s neck. ...She’d never noticed before, but he smelled-- …She couldn’t place it. Like nothing she’d smelt before, but a hundred things she’d smelled individually. A tinge of smoke. Of sweat. Of the salt of the sea. She breathed in as well as she could, and slithered her hands under his arms to press her palms flat to his back. Even there, she could feel his scars. More traction to keep her steady, she thought, as his pelvis pressed against her rear. That was a closeness she realized she liked, too. Even through the pain, she liked it. She liked the way his hair tickled her skin and the way his warm breaths warmed her bones each time he’d groan into her skin. 

Then he started to go faster. She could mostly ignore the pain, but her gasping for air turned more desperate. It wasn’t as if she were at risk of suffocating, but all the same, as he groaned more, she began to make noises that she could scarce imagine came from her own lips. Gasping, gasping, squeaking--

Thorfinn stopped, and raised himself up from her. While her breathing was still ragged, the cold immediately set in between them, making her heart drop all the more when she saw the look on Thorfinn’s face.

I’m hurting you.”

“Wh--”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not, you’re not!” She insisted as she collected her breath now that she wasn’t forced down by his weight. He wasn’t listening. He took himself out of her, more of a relief than she wanted to admit, and grimaced.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Huh?” She sat up, feeling a tinge of pain as she did so. There was blood on his cock. Blood on the bed. Not a lot, nothing more than a period, but... “I was told that’s supposed to happen,” she murmured. It didn’t do much to comfort him; when she looked up at him, he looked positively disgusted. Somehow, it made her feel more ashamed than when she’d first ripped her clothes off. Possibly more ashamed than when she’d stabbed Sigurd. 

“I’m never hurting you again. I don’t want to make you bleed. I don’t want to make anyone bleed.” He tore himself off from her and onto his feet and began to get dressed. What could she say to that? She was so blindsided that only once she was alone in the room,  did she  think to say that women bleed all the time. Would he even know something like that?

She tucked her legs to her chest. She’d went through all that pain, an ache still throbbing at her crotch, and she’d still messed it up. She sniffled. And kept hoping he would come back. Ten minutes passed. Then twenty. Thirty. The cold got to her, and eventually, she pulled on her clothes again. She tugged up her coat to bury her face in it to soak up her tears as quickly as they came.

She sobbed and sobbed, only giving her all the more pain as her body contracted from her pathetic whimpers. She’d failed again. Not like she’d ever be able to find a fourth husband. Would Thorfinn cast her out? Her stomach knotted at the very idea. She’d never feel his dry lips against hers. His strong hand engulfing her own. That smell—It lingered in the room, and she cursed the idea of it going away. 

Only once she’d cried every bit of water out of her, did she finally pass out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking hard about this and couldn't resist writing even though I have other stuff I should be doing, honestly.  
> I hope you enjoyed. I'm adding to this, this just felt like a good stopping point for now. I'm not sure how far I'll go, we'll see.
> 
> Definitely a far cry from my Dragon Ball fic I've been doing. It's nice, being able to write a happy couple. This may not have ended happy for the time being, but it will. I have ideas, I hope you guys look forward to it.


	2. A drop in the ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gudrid both avoids Thorfinn, and is incensed at his own avoidance of her.

She couldn’t look at him. They were husband and wife now, but she avoided him at every opportunity. That was not without difficulty; there were times he so casually called out to her, or asked her a question, but Gudrid did her best to pretend she didn’t hear Thorfinn and leave the vicinity as soon as possible. 

That wasn’t possible, however, once they were on the ship back to his homeland. A short ride, but one where she was trapped with Thorfinn nonetheless. The thing that bothered her the most was how casual he was. As if nothing had happened between the two of them. He’d even casually held her hand at some point on the boat ride, and was horrified to see a glimpse of Einar making a face when she’d so quickly pulled away and stepped off to the other side of the ship. 

Worse yet, she still ached. Some part of her assumed it would go away after that night. It did not. Every time she sat down, she could feel the dull pain. Every time she moved her legs too far apart. Even just walking. Nothing in comparison to pains she’d already felt in her life as a woman, but a nagging pain nonetheless, to remind her of what had happened between herself and the man she was so confident that she loved. 

The moment they hit land, she all but flung herself off onto the pier. 

“What did you do to her?” She’d heard Einar ask. 

Hearing _“I_ _dunno_ _”_ from Thorfinn made her want to throttle him. The realization that she had nowhere to go and would still be trapped within the confines of Thorfinn’s family’s home made her want to just shrivel up and die. 

The worst yet was that night. She had managed through a meal with his family well enough, but when they were alone at night, she was again a ball of nerves. Not that anything would happen; this time, Karli was with them. She laid in their cot, watching Thorfinn play with their child by the homestead. Speaking to him to try and influence him to talk more. But once Karli yawned, he set him down in the cot. She welcomed the baby under the fur blankets, and tried to think of what to say to Thorfinn. 

But then he left. 

He left! She shot up in bed and glowered at the door as soon as Thorfinn shut it behind himself. The nerve! Oh, but she hadn’t the nerve to rush out after him. What would she say? She sunk back down into the blankets, and buried her face in Karli’s tummy. 

On it went for another day. And her anger grew. What was he even doing? Where was he sleeping? It was embarrassing enough to notice the looks on others’ faces at their strained relationship. But they couldn’t even sleep in the same bed, just to sleep?! 

Once Karli had gone to sleep, she clambered out of bed and followed he prints in the snow to the barn. 

That’s where she found him, snoring in the sheep’s hay pile. 

At first, she felt some sort of relief. He wasn’t going and finding some other woman to sleep with. Not that there were that many in this tiny little town, but it had been a thought that nagged at her nonetheless. Once the relief passed, however, a more righteous fury than before overtook her. She breathed harder as it grew, until she couldn’t help herself and threw back her leg to kick Thorfinn with the strength of a donkey’s leg. 

_“OW!”_ Thorfinn yelled, perhaps half in pain and half in surprise as her foot made contact with his side and woke him. Her toes throbbed from impact, but she didn’t let it show, instead just glowering at him and panting. 

“Why aren’t you in our bed.” 

He stared at her incredulously, half-asleep, taking a moment to process her words or where she’d come from. But after a moment, he rubbed his head and answered. 

“I didn’t want to wake you up with my nightmares. And I figure if we’re not having se--” 

“Don’t say it!" Her cheeks burned red as she interrupted, barely even able to contain herself from squeezing her eyes shut in shame. No, she had to glare him down. He stared back at her in turn, and scratched his scalp again. That horrible man. Did he even notice the straw stuck in his hair? He’d rather sleep like this than worry about waking her or Karli? As if she’d care! As if! As if!! 

“Ah--! You’re crying! I’m sorry, I didn’t think it’d bother you that much!” Was she crying? She hadn’t noticed. When did her body become so tense? Her cheeks burned, and the tears that began falling down her face streaked her cheeks hot. Through her tears, she watched him wad through straw and stumble to his feet and grab her biceps with that firm but gentle grip of his, though he kept her at an arm’s length. 

“You didn’t think it would bother me?! You don’t even ask me something like that?! I’m your wife, you have to talk to me! You left me alone! I thought—I thought you didn’t... I didn’t want to be a disappointment again--” 

She squeezed her eyes shut to avoid his gaze. The space between them disappeared, and he wrapped her up softly into his arms, so firmly but so gently. Her tears fell away, and for the first time in a few days, she was able to breathe in his scent as much as she wanted. The scent of the sea, but with his own charm. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and held him tight so he wouldn’t let go. 

“I thought you were angry at me. You kept avoiding me,” he told her, uncertain. “I wasn’t sure what I did.” 

“How could you not know?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

She often forgot how different of a childhood Thorfinn had. He had no clue what it even meant to be a husband, did he? It wasn’t like Einar had a wife, nor Leif. Certainly not any proper vikings. He didn’t understand as much as any other man would. It was as she thought before. _They were both strange._

“Do you still hurt? You seemed like you were squirming a lot the day after. I tried to ask you but you ran away...” Was that what that was about, when he tried holding her hand that day? And she’d been so angry at him. She sniffled. What a terrible wife she was. She didn’t deserve him. But all the same, she wasn’t going to let go of him so easily. Her arms held him tighter. 

“It still stings a bit. It’s supposed to, they say.” 

“That’s ridiculous. Bodies aren't meant to hurt. You were bleeding--” 

“Girls bleed all the time.” 

He was silent at that one, which made Gudrid raise a brow. She tentatively let go of him, and they both seemed to have the same idea to lean back just far enough to see the other’s face. Why were his brows wrinkled up like that? 

“Why would they bleed all the time? Women aren’t the ones getting into fights. You have almost no scars.” 

“N... No,” Gudrid blinked. This was another thing he apparently didn’t know. She thought maybe by tilting her head and gesturing for him to think for a moment, he might refresh some memory. But he just continued to stare at her. He truly didn’t know? 

“Women bleed every month from down there.” 

She’d seen that expression before. The same face he’d given her when she explained that women don’t always have milk. 

“ _Every_ month?” 

“For a week.” 

“A WEEK?” 

“Y... Yeah.” She nodded and let him work out his inner turmoil at this new-found fact, and in the meanwhile plucked a few pieces of straw from his hair. “From the time a girl becomes a woman to the time she’s elderly, as long as she isn’t pregnant. Once she’s pregnant, the bleeding stops until the baby comes.” 

“Amazing,” he murmured under his breath. She wrinkled her nose. What else did she have to teach his man...? 

“Can we go to bed now?” She asked. 

“Ah... If you’re sure it’s okay.” 

There was no sex, not with Karli in bed. Not that she was sure he could pressure Thorfinn into it anyway, and not that she wanted to do it with the ache she still had. But he was at least there for a night, keeping herself and their child warm and lulling her to sleep with his scent.

Even if she did get a thwack halfway through the night when his nightmares started up. It had woken her from a delightful dream of flying over the ocean as a bird, leaving her blackness, barely illuminated by the moonlight through the window, as Thorfinn moaned wretchedly and kicked about beside her. Well, the smack she'd gotten hadn't been too hard. Its stung had already faded. She supposed that was something to be happy about.

“Thorfinn,” she mumbled through her grogginess. Her hand shifted about in the dark until she found his chest, and knocked on it with her knuckle until his groans turned to a final yelp of surprise. 

“I was--” 

“Having another nightmare,” she finished, rolling onto her side to get a glimpse of him in the dark. She could feel Karli wiggling about between them, whining in his own sleep, irritated about being disturbed. “The same thing?” 

“Always.” His palm slid over his face, stopping to rest over his eyes. “I can slee--” 

“You’re not sleeping anywhere else.” His hand smoothed up to his forehead, so he could stare quietly at Gudrid. She did her best to look as serious as possible, scrunching up her features as if she’d never meant anything more than she meant that. If he could even make out that much of her features in the darkness. 

He seemed to relent. The silhouette of his head turned as he rested it flat against the cot, and didn’t say another word in protest. She wiggled closer to him, being certain not to squish the child between their torsos. One of her hands again searched in the darkness to smooth over his chest and up his neck, to hold his jawline. His stubble tickled her skin. 

“You’ll need a shave again soon,” she whispered. His calloused hand found hers, engulfing it again and settling on loosely gripping her wrist. His thumb ran rough circles over her pulse. Why had she ever been scared that she’d disappointed Thorfinn? Of course she could never disappoint him. He was too kind. _Too_ kind, that was all. From now on, she should try to remember that. If there was ever something wrong, it was probably because he was stupidly being too caring. The same as back when she’d first confessed, when he’d tried to usher them all away so he could deal with Thorkell. 

“I’m your wife now,” she reminded him. The thumb stopped circling her wrist. 

“Wh... What?” 

“I’m your wife now.” 

“I... I know that.” 

“Do you?” The stammering in his voice made her sure he knew she was about to lecture him. His grip on her wrist had even tensed. Good. Good, it was nice to have someone squirm like this. Was that what marriage was about? “Tell me what it means, then.” 

“It, uh... It means that...” He’d let go of her wrist. She could hear him itching his scalp in the darkness. “It means... I mean, I wouldn’t say it in front of--” 

“Not that,” She huffed, her cheeks reddening. “I mean. Yes, that. But it means we share each other’s pain. How we feel.” 

He was quiet again. She shifted her face closer to his, trying her best to keep her wifely glower. A hard thing to do, when she could feel his breath on her cheek, and when he just smelled so, so good. And it was... Cute, the way he stared back at her like a deer caught in headlights, especially with how the moonlight hit his eyes and gave them a more pale glow. 

“You can’t hurt me, Thorfinn. You said that any amount of pain I give you is a drop in an ocean. If that ocean is yours, it’s mine, too. You can’t hurt me, any more than I can hurt you. Because we share everything. Okay?” He didn’t answer, but she accepted his gaze. It was hard to understand what went on behind his eyes sometimes, but that far-off gaze he got... The one that made him look like he was a thousand years wise... She could accept that it meant they reached some kind of understanding. 

She pressed her lips to his stubbled cheek, and just as quickly as she made contact, he turned his head to catch her mouth with his own. She had never had any crushes in her life, other than the sea. She had never had any kisses until Thorfinn, and had stuck her tongue out in disgust at the mere idea of them. But with him, she understood. Every stupid legend of star-crossed lovers going to the ends of the Earth with each other, risking life and limb just for even one last kiss- She understood it completely. The way his chafed lips felt against her own made her heart race like almost nothing before. Even when she leaned back again, she could feel the organ thumping against her chest, threatening to burst out of her body. 

“You can’t hurt me, Thorfinn Karlsefni,” she whispered to him again in the darkness. Whether Gudrid had truly convinced him or not, she’d made her point well enough, if she could say so herself. And she’d better stop now, lest her heart leap out of her chest right then and there. She patted his cheek and curled her arm back into herself, and spoke only one last time: 

“Now go to sleep.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pushed this out fast because I've been like, obsessed. I have the start of the next chapter ready, too. And after that, I think I have at least 2 chapters in me still covering different topics relating to their sex life and overall marriage.  
> Please let me know if you guys want to continue reading something like this, what you think, what you'd like to see.  
> I was kind of surprised to see that when I initially posted this fic, Thorfinn x Gudrid didn't even come up when I typed Thorfinn as the start of a pairing. Every single other option came up first, lmao, including Thorfinn x reader. I sort of hope this will stand out, then.


	3. Chores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gudrid is certain that she's missing something, and needs advice.

Gudrid was quite satisfied with herself, the way she’d managed to work out at least the first half of their first marital squabble-- Though she hadn’t expected a marital squabble to happen so soon. When Karli shook her awake that morning, as soon as her initial groggy confusion left her, the first thing she did was smile. 

“Ma,” Karli voiced; the first word he seemed to have figured out some time ago. She ran her hand through his bed-tossed hair, and shifted up onto her elbow as he began his typical mostly-incoherent babbling. Thorfinn was fast asleep still. He always seemed to get that way; if his nightmare happened halfway through the night, his body at least seemed exhausted enough that he’d sleep like a rock until morning. That was a relief that she’d learned from Einar when they were still traveling; that it was best to wake him up as quickly as possible to ensure you both get the rest of the night to rest quietly. 

She tucked his hair behind his ear, smoothing one of her fingers over the flat skin that had healed over where the tip of his ear had been cut off. She asked about that once. Thorfinn forgot he even lost part of his ear; Einar was again the one to speak up and remind him that that one had happened during their slave years. 

Thorfinn  Karlsefni . The makings of a man. He’d lived a life far beyond her dreams before she’d even come into it. It sometimes made her jealous, that she had no interesting scars to speak of, nothing that’s ever made him ask her about some far-off part of her life. But then she’d have to remind herself that adventures aren’t always worth bragging about.

_ “Ma,”  _ Karli repeated, whining louder now. “Hawngwy.” Hungry. It still seemed somewhat dark- maybe she could get up early enough to help Ylva with breakfast. 

“Okay, I hear you, I hear you,” she bundled up the little one into her arms and snuzzled her face thoroughly into his until his little hands started jamming at her face and he began to whine again. Then he was set down next to Mama at the foot of the bed. Thorfinn was left alone for the time being; if anyone needed more uninterrupted sleep, it was him.

“Shh,” she gestured with a finger to Karli to be quiet as she rose up off the bed, and Karli mirrored her. Dressing him went easily enough with his focus on being quiet as if it were a game, but once she’d finished tying his shoes in place, there was no stopping him from running full-speed to the door and jumping desperately to try and reach the handle. There was no stopping that boy. But just as soon as she tried to chide him for his noise, Mama had already pushed the door open for him, wagging her tail all the while. The heavy wood blew dust into the air as it shut with a thud, and Gudrid let out a deep sigh. He made it so easy to miss when he couldn’t walk.

She shook off her thoughts and gathered her clothing for the day, hiking up her shift and bunching it at her side to get it out of the way as she put on trousers. Only halfway through did she forget she wasn’t alone; that she shared a room now. She jerked her trousers up faster and glanced toward the bed as she tightened a string around the waistband to hold it in place. 

Thorfinn’s groggy, half-open eyes lingered on her for a moment longer, before he noticed she was watching him and made eye contact. He sat up and rubbed his face lazily, and while Gudrid couldn’t help but wonder if he’d just been looking at her body, he didn’t seem to show any sign of blushing. 

...Did it matter regardless? She was his wife now, wasn’t she? She turned her eyes down to the string she was tying at her waist, doing what little she could to get her mind off it.

“I was hoping you would sleep longer. You need it.”

“I’ve slept less, I’m alright.” The same sort of stuff Thorfinn always said. Never a complaint. Never anything to worry about. 

“You need to take care of yourself. You were telling me we likely won’t leave for Vinland right away, weren’t you? You aren’t in any  rush, you can relax and take care of your body for the time being.”

“Heh, you say that until Ylva throws this door open and tells me I’m being lazy.” He’d sluggishly mustered himself up to his feet, and as he made his way over to her, she put her hands on her hips and assumed a strong pose. 

“If she wants to yell at you, she has to go through me first!”

“You’re going to beat Ylva?”

“You don’t think I could?” He gazed shortly at her, blew a short chuckle from his lips, and dug through their chest for his own clothes. That said it all for her. Not that Gudrid would argue at all. The woman could probably wrestle a bear if she felt the need and come out with nothing more than a scratch.

They fell into silence together as they dressed, Gudrid averting her gaze from him to politely focus on pulling her tunic on and belt it in place. He seemed so casual about how she was dressing, but how could she not blush at even just the sight of his thighs? Regardless of marriage, it felt like she  was a peeping tom to do anything but look elsewhere.

“You should tie your hair back.”

“Uh-- Huhn?” She looked up at the sound of his gentle voice, and her cheeks burned ever harder when he tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“When my hair was as long as yours, that’s what Einar told me to do. It keeps it out of your face.” He found one of the strings for Karli’s clothes in their chest, and circled his finger. “Turn around.”

He said it with his usual gentle voice, but as a command, it still made Gudrid’s heart jump. She sucked in her breath and did as she was told, her skin burning under his touch as he gathered her hair to the back of her head. She had done her hair a million times over, and had her hair done a million times over by other women; her mother, her sister-in-law, whoever. And though Thorfinn’s hands were thicker and rougher than any of those hands, they were far more gentle. Even when her hair was bunched between his fingers as he tied it, his palm laid as soft as a feather on her scalp. Like even the slightest bit of strength would wound her.

Was he still scared of hurting her? Against her best wishes, her thoughts again flowed back to their first night together. _ I’m hurting you. You’re bleeding.  _ … Why had she been so proud of herself today, when he seemed to still not have gotten it through his thick skull that...

“There we go.”

She was certain of it. Through her racing heart and her flaming cheeks, she was sure she had to focus her energy on getting over this next hump in this marriage. 

“Gudrid?”

She’d figure out a way to make it so Thorfinn wouldn’t have to worry that he was hurting her again. It only hurt the first time, right? Or, the first couple of times. But it was supposed to get fun at some point, wasn’t it?

“Gudrid, I’m done...” She jumped at the feeling of Thorfinn’s hands grabbing her shoulders. She jerked her head back to look at him, stammered, and found herself unable to formulate anything to day. And just as his brows were beginning to knit, she spun around and flung her arms around him and smushed her face against his chest. 

“Thank you!” She told  him, her voice muffled through the fabric of his tunic. Before he could react, she unraveled herself from him and flung herself out the door much the same as Karli had done only moments before.

.

.

.

She needed advice. The more she thought about it, the more certain she was of it. It was definitely supposed to not hurt after a certain point, but if she messed things up, there was no way she was going to convince Thorfinn for a third time around. 

The problem was figuring out who she needed to ask. Even the thought of asking someone was a horrifying concept, considered only by her lack of any other options, but it certainly couldn’t be a man. So that ruled out Einar and Leif. Hild had never been married, and considering her story, it seemed she hadn’t had many interested men in her life anyway. And, honestly, some voice in the back of her head insisted that Hild was at least somewhat likely to give her completely wrong information just to spite Thorfinn. She would have liked to ask her sister-in-law, Thorir’s sister, with all her knowledge... But she was far away, and who knew how long it’d be until she saw her again. 

…

...She did have  _ another _ sister-in-law now.

Ylva was married with children. And she was such a massive, strong, towering woman that she couldn’t possibly imagine that she’d submit meekly to her husband, as embarrassing as that was to think about. She had become certain of  it halfway through making breakfast with Ylva, but of course she couldn’t bring it up just then. _ In front of people?  _ Or where others could hear? Where _ the children  _ could hear? 

No. No, no, of course not. She had to wait for an opening. And thus began a day of following Ylva around like a lost puppy, until a solution for her problem found her when Ylva pushed a basket of dirty clothes into her hands and told her it was time to do laundry.

They went out to the river, comfortably far from prying ears. But even just mustering the courage proved difficult to Gudrid. She only kept scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing at each pair of clothes, until her frustration at herself overcame her shame and she finally managed to at least  _ try _ to say something.

“Ehm,” She murmured, shuffling in her spot to get a bit closer to Ylva as she scrubbed at one of Karli’s pants.

“You and Thorfinn are having trouble in bed,” Ylva said, so matter-of-factly, without even looking up. Gudrid choked, her face immediately turning a deep, bright red. 

“Wha- What makes you say that?!”

“You’ve been avoiding him since the wedding. You slept in the same bed last night finally after you yelled at him in the barn. And today you’ve been staring at me non-stop and following me around like a scared child all day today.”

“You could hear--”

“Of course, it’s right outside.” Ylva rolled her eyes and leaned back, before letting out a deep, exhausted sigh as if she were about to lecture one of her children. “My eldest just reached this age, I didn’t think I’d have to go through this now with anyone but him.”

“Ah... I’m sorry.”

“So, what’s the problem? You don’t know how it works? That’s a far cry from when I thought when he first brought you home and told me Karli was your child. I suppose I should be thankful.” She went back to scrubbing the clothes, and after a moment of gathering her words, Gudrid did too. “He scared me half to fucking death with that one. Probably for the best he was gone for as long as he was, I probably would have throttled him before he could even reach adulthood with how he acts.”

“Ehm...” Was this how she came off to her little brother? She supposed she did yell at him plenty, now that she thought back on it. “It’s not that we don’t know how it works. We did it. Thorfinn got upset because he was hurting me. He was angry he made me... Uh... Bleed.”

“That boy is an idiot,” Ylva grumbled under her breath, scrubbing with more vigor. “He’s got no brains. I’d like to say that’s what war does to a man, but it seems they’re all like that. My husband’s no better and despite what he brags about, he didn’t see a lick of any real war. And I swear, this whole village would fall apart with these silly men if not for me.”

Ah... If Gudrid could have the confidence that Ylva had, maybe she would have spared herself a lot of grief in life. She pursed her lips, nearly forgetting that she had been doing laundry. She turned back to the task, her ears open as Ylva spoke some more.

“Listen.” Gudrid glanced up at the older woman, whose gaze seemed to at least mellow as she ran her thumb over a stain on a tunic. “You’ve never done anything as a child that you realized felt good? Straddling a log, sliding down a rope... I don’t know. Wrapping your legs tightly to a branch as you climb a tree?”

At  first she was puzzled. But the more she thought of it—Gudrid did recall finding a deeper fascination in wrapping her thighs around the rope on Leif’s ship and climbing up them, beyond just loving ships. Nothing that she’d spent too much time thinking about, even when she was in the moment, but...

“Women aren’t as obvious as men, but we like things too. Don’t go straight into the act.” Ylva leaned back again, and furrowed her heavy, bushy brows, reaching one firm hand out as if she could search through the air for her words. “Think of it like... Like cooking. If you just toss everything in and then immediately pour the broth out into a bowl, it’s just water. It’s disgusting. You need to give time for things to cook, for the broth to absorb the flavor. And then you eat. That’s when you’ll truly enjoy the food.”

Like... Cooking. Gudrid stared at Ylva for a moment, before turning forward to stare off into the mountains. She understood the gist of what Ylva was saying, and yet it felt like she was missing something. It’s not like there were any vegetables and broth in  _ that _ . What was it that she was supposed to be adding? She hadn’t exactly been doing things like climbing trees and sliding along rope for fun in a long time. 

She’d never been very good at cooking. But none of the crew ever complained of it on their travels, and she had reached a point where they had begun to compliment her, after constant practice and trying her best to figure out something that wouldn’t make them turn up their noses. Maybe that’s just what she needed. Practice and thought.

“You're letting the laundry float away,” Ylva chastised, her hand—nearly as thick as Thorfinn’s--slapping down Karli’s wet, wrinkled pants on her lap. “Focus on what you’re doing.”

“Ah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Took a bit to pump this out. Hope you guys keep enjoying. As I think more about this, I end up writing more than I expect. I'm not actually any closer to finishing than I was last time when I said 'I have at least two chapters left in me.' 
> 
> To give you some sort of preview, my general idea is that after Gudrid deals with this initial problem, this can be a fun fanfic to just go about how she navigates different aspects of it. Dealing with having a child who gets in their way, for instance. Being eager to go about it when they reach dry land after days, weeks, months at sea in a privacy-less boat. Thorfinn possibly continuing to have a relationship with Einar on the side, which wasn't unheard of in Viking times. Stuff like that. I've found a lot of entertainment even just so far with portraying it with this sense of reality without it being too overly romantic, yknow? I'm having fun, I hope you guys are, too.


	4. A Hump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorfinn and Gudrid both individually find people for advice.

Once they had finished with laundry, it hard gotten dark. She’d spent so long following Ylva around and gathering the courage to talk to her, that with how early the sun went down this time of year in Iceland, she’d lost any time to wander off by herself to do some thinking. Even if she would have liked to, Karli had the tendency recently of wandering where he liked. He had to be watched.

It wasn’t until the next day that Gudrid had the opportunity to wander off to do some thinking, after she’d spent the morning with Thorfinn and the others as they planned for Vinland. It had been decided that they would depart in the Spring. Without Leif or Bug-eyes. It left a bittersweet flavor to know, though it was so far down the line that it wasn’t worth it to waste the time being upset over it now.

There was something far more imminent to worry about. 

Sure, Thorfinn was at least still sleeping in her bed each night. That was without a problem; Karli didn’t even wake up to his nightmares. But that’s not the only thing a husband and wife did! And he didn’t seem to care at all! So much for her ‘you can’t hurt me’ speech. He hadn’t even brought the topic up last night. Not that she was even sure it would have gone down any better if they had done anything!

“AGH!” She let out a yell as she climbed up the forested hill far behind the village. At least back here, she could scream and complain and have some semblance of privacy to work this out for herself, until she no longer felt so frustrated. She caught sight of a clear white rock that stuck up from the dirt, wound her leg back, and wound all her frustrations into a single kick that sent it flying. 

The rock hit a log up ahead with a fairly pathetic thud, and Gudrid climb higher yet to reach it again. She grabbed a tree branch for support to help her up with how steep the hill was. Not too unlike the mountains and hills in Greenland. She turned her head out to see if she could see anything of the village anymore, and found herself somewhat satisfied to see that she only saw trees. Trees, trees, more trees, and the whistle of the soft early-Spring breeze past their trunks. 

It was at least nice to be alone for the first time in a while. God knew it was the one downside of being a sailor. She sucked in the warm air and dropped her thoughts at her feet with a deep sigh, before finally bending down and taking the rock from where it lay in at the ground, stuck to dirt that was still wet and cold from thawing. 

She rolled it around in her bare hand a couple times, before looking back down at the log. What had Ylva said about being a kid, and...? 

She kicked her leg over the  log , thin as it was. It wasn’t rotten, and nothing had started growing on it yet; newly fallen, maybe. She ran her hands over it, somewhat surprised to see none of the bark crumbled off onto her palm. Her hands gripped it firm, and, after shifting her hips forward, rolled against the bark. But just as quickly as she was starting to wonder about whether or not she liked the pressure on her inner thighs and the friction against her crotch, her trousers tore.

“Fuck!” She lifted her leg up and pulled the cloth away from the bark, at least relieved to find that the hole wasn’t too bad; it was an easy fix with some stitching, even as crude as her needlework skills were. She dropped her leg back down and leaned backward in relief, when realization hit her and her face reddened.  _...What the hell was she doing? _

She looked stupid. What if she was found? Oh, she’d die right there. Just the idea mortified her, steeling her in her spot for a grim moment of contemplation. Shouldn’t she be talking alone with Thorfinn about this? Instead of wandering out like some freak to hump a log? Her face burned up to her ears, and she turned down to look for that rock again to throw with the strength of all her frustrations. Where had it gone?! Damn it. Damn it! In a fit, she ripped off her shoe and threw it as hard as she could instead. 

It was much, much more satisfying, she found, to see something go flying and then rolling down the hill until she couldn’t see it anymore,  than it was to just throw something a couple of feet up a hill. 

Until the cold seeped from the dirt into the bare sole of her foot.

“Ah...” She really shouldn’t have done that. Hindsight after fits of frustration... Ugh. She got up to her feet, checked the hole in her trousers one last time, and bounded down the hill, doing her best not to step on any twigs. 

It had rolled far further than expected, but she eventually found it propped against a tree, right before a short cliffside. Close enough that she could see the village in the distance, between the trees. She dropped down in the dirt and pulled the shoe on, and just as she was tying it tight again, she could hear footsteps down below. Footsteps, and... A couple familiar voices. 

“It’s too bad you can’t grow anything here. I feel a bit useless, to be honest.”

“It’s only a year, Einar. There’s plenty of other things to do. ...I think.”

“Do you even remember what you used to do before you left?” 

Just her luck. What, was she going to announce herself? They’d ask her what she was doing, and what was she going to say then?! She pressed her legs to her knees. It was fine. It was fine. They were probably just out here to collect firewood or something. She’d just wait for them to leave. Or she’d try to sneak around the hill. Or--

“Here’s far enough, I think. This village is so tiny there’s no privacy. Almost makes you miss wish we were slaves again, eh, Thorfinn? Only saw other people a few times a day.”

...Eh?

“You were the one that was embarrassed about talking about it.”

“Well, it’s not the sort of thing kids should hear! … Don’t give me that look! You’ll know what I mean when Karli hears something that he shouldn’t and repeats it nonstop for a month. Ylva is going to kill us both if all the kids start asking her about what sex is.”

**_ EH?  _ ** Gudrid clamped her hands over her mouth and peered past the tree trunk, finding that she was just close enough to the short cliff edge to see the tips of their heads down below as Einar and Thorfinn sat on a couple of rocks and talked, their backs turned to her. 

“Don’t give me that look. Not everyone grew up like you, it’s not normal to—Forget it. What did you want to ask me?”

“You’ve told me you’ve had sex with women before.”

“Yeah...?”

It was quiet for a moment. Gudrid felt like a peeping tom, listening in like this. She nearly made the decision to start crawling away to find a way around without them noticing her, but curiosity got the best of her, and she stayed. She could see Thorfinn rubbing his head, the same way he always did when he couldn’t think of the words for what he wanted to say.

“I don’t know how you— ...Men are simple enough. I don’t want to, uh, to hurt her.”

There was another beat of silence, before Einar’s laughter ripped through the air. The heavy clothes over Gudrid suffocated her with how hot she was, as red as a beet. Why was he laughing over something like that?! If she were a bit more like Ylva or Hild, she’d certainly throttle that stupid...! She tore off her shoe again, but before she could truly think of throwing it at him, he was talking again.

“Listen, Thorfinn. Us guys just want to get right to it, it’s not the same for women. Enjoy the moment. Touch her, kiss her, and you’ll know when she’s ready because she’ll be as wet as the  juiciest —OW!”

Her shoe had smacked Einar’s head with the most cathartic bonk she’d ever heard in her life. And right after it, she jumped from the small cliff and grabbed it from where it had fallen on the ground.

“Gudri--?!”

“LOST MY SHOE!” She screamed as she launched off past them, refusing to even look at them. 

It wasn’t until she tripped and fell on her face, only a few meters from the pier, did she finally stop and breathe. Or rather, wheeze.

“Ma!” She lulled her head to the side, only to be welcomed with Mama’s wet tongue. 

“Karli,” she gasped, giving Mama a rub on the head before pulling herself up to sit in the grass and collect her breath. 

“Ahaha!! Mommy red!” Ah, great. He was learning to talk better, but just so he could laugh at her. She rubbed her head, and as her heart rate evened out, she realized Hild had been beside them, relaxing against a large rock. They shared a glance, though that never seemed to last long with Hild before she averted her gaze.

“Kar... Karli,” she sighed, pulling her child off of his dog and onto her lap. “Ah-- Stop pulling mommy’s hair. Let mommy hug you for a little bit. Are you hungry?”

.

.

.

By the time lunch came and went, and dinner rolled around and she had finished helping Ylva cook, Gudrid had forgotten of the embarrassment of earlier in the day. Thorfinn and Einar hadn’t stopped at the house for lunch, but once it had gotten dark, they had been close enough that they shuffled in with Ylva’s children at the smell of cooking food.

Bowls were filled as everyone gathered around the hearth, and somehow, Einar hadn’t done more than give her an initial nervous, flushed glance. All the better for her. Maybe if she was lucky, they actually believed she’d only just lost her shoe and hadn’t overheard them at all. 

...Oh, who was she kidding?

“Uncle, tell us more about when you were a warrior!” Their nephews and niece kept their attention on Thorfinn as Gudrid sat beside him on one of the dark stools around the hearth. She sat Karli down onto her lap, resting on the crook of her arm and her chest, as she balanced a bowl of food on her knee to feed him. 

Just as she finished shifting about to get Karli and herself comfortable, Thorfinn casually squeezed her free knee, and let his hand rest there as he told the children some tale of when he was a child, travelling through England. What he said didn’t matter to Gudrid; she knew he didn’t care for the tales of the boy he used to be, and the important parts she’d already heard. But his hand alone made her smile, a smile that only grew when Karli grabbed her wrist and insisted that he could feed himself today. As a little girl, she used to resent the idea of a family. Why couldn’t a woman never have a husband nor children? And yet she’d stumbled backward into both those things.

Though it did rattle the mind of her stubborn younger self, still hidden deep in the back of her mind, to know her mother would definitely tell her  _ ‘I told you so’  _ to how comfortable and happy she had become. 

Once Karli had eaten, Ylva had passed her a bowl of her own as the little one nodded off against her chest. Thorfinn’s story had evolved to some nonsense about fighting mythological Fenrir, though the younger three of Ylva’s children were none the wiser, the oldest had lost interest and gone to help his father feed the sheep before the end of the night.

At the cue of the children all three passing a yawn between each other, Ylva took their empty bowls and stood.

“Bedtime, it sounds like!” 

“ Ohh , but I want to hear what happened next!”

“You’ll hear later, we’ll pick up tomorrow night,” Thorfinn insisted, ruffling the hair of the youngest. “We’re staying until next Spring, no need to worry. Plenty of time for stories.”

“That’s right,” Ylva nodded, scooping up Karli from Gudrid’s lap. “And this one’s sleeping with you guys tonight. Hurry up and get the warming pans to start warming up the beds.”

“Eh?” Gudrid asked, blinking as Ylva simply shook her head at her.

“What! It’s already cramped enough with Uncle Einar!”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I can’t just sleep in the barn!” Einar let out a huff, and behind him Helga was quietly laughing to herself as she slowly rose to her feet.

“It’s good for his health. And he’s little, he won’t take up much space. He can sleep with you, Maru. Here, go get him changed.” Ylva passed Karli off to one of the children, and off he went, to the side-room the children, Einar, and Helga all slept in.

It made her feel a bit bad, that they were all so cramped together in this house. But it wasn’t as if it made sense to waste time building a new home only for it to go unused come a year. She tried to argue, but after it all, she had still ended up alone in the small bedroom Thorfinn and Gudrid had come to share. 

“Good for his health?” Thorfinn wondered aloud as he dropped to the side of their cot and pulled his shoes off. “Is that true? I suppose if anyone knows, it’s Ylva. Four children...” 

True enough. But remembering the conversation Gudrid had had with Ylva, her cheeks flush at the reminder, she had a feeling that there was an ulterior motive behind it. Not that Thorfinn seemed to have noticed it at all.

“Ah--Hold on, get off the bed. I haven’t warmed it yet.” She’d been so busy in her own thoughts she’d nearly forgotten the warming pan she was holding. He hopped off the bed and balanced on one foot as he pulled the other shoe off, and all the while Gudrid shoved the bedpan under the sheets and began sliding it around to heat it.

“You’d better hurry up, it’s cold.”

“Isn’t it your fault for throwing off everything but your shift right away? You sound like a child.” Despite her chiding, she smiled at the sound of Thorfinn’s chuckle behind her. He’d been joking more recently. If he had already improved since the few  years she’d known him, she could only wonder how sullen Thorfinn had been in those years Einar knew him as a slave. The warming pan was removed from the blankets, and in the  time it took for her to drop it off onto the hearth, Thorfinn had already shuffled under the covers. Her shoes and trousers and tunic were all thrown off quick enough, and she joined him in slithering under the covers, fitting herself in the crook of his shoulder.

“It’s quiet without Karli and Mama,” Gudrid expressed after a minute of silence. She glanced up at Thorfinn; his eyes were open. From this angle, though, it was hard to tell if he had that far-off look in his eyes. “...Thorfinn?”

“ Hnn ?” Whatever he was thinking of, he seemed to snap out of it at the sound of her voice. He crooked his neck to exchange a glance with her, before his head dropped and he finally closed his eyes. “Let’s go to sleep. Don’t waste the peace and quiet Ylva’s bestowed on us.”

It wasn’t as if Karli was the baby he used to be; he didn’t cry during the night anymore. She frowned but lowered her head regardless, squishing her cheek against his chest. He couldn’t be so dense, could he? To not waste what alone-time Ylva had bestowed upon them meant... 

She closed her eyes, and breathed in the scent of his she loved so much. Between his body and the  heat the hot ash had left between the fur blankets, she felt as warm as any Summer day. For a moment, she could imagine herself as a tern, flying over the sea, the salty summer air fluffing her feathers. But then she opened her eyes again, and Thorfinn was laying still beside her in the darkness. Not asleep yet; he wasn’t breathing shallowly.

One of her legs hooked around Thorfinn’s. She squirmed the other under by the crook of his knee, and slowly balled her shift upward. It snagged his shift and took it part of the way with it, leaving their thigh skin touching. Even though his hands were so rough, there were still parts of him that were soft. She couldn’t feel his scars on the leg she held between her thighs, though she knew there must be some; only the soft warmth of his skin and the way his leg hairs tickled her. She rested her hand flat at his side, and slid their shifts up more, and buried her face in the crook of his armpit as the black hair between her legs flattened against his hip. Was he looking at her? She couldn’t bear to find out for herself, nor to reveal just how beet-red her face had become again. 

Still, even threw feeling like a pervert—was it a pervert, if it was your husband?—she rolled her hips against him. He reacted to that; she could feel it. It was light, but his shoulder that was pinned under her had stiffened, and he’d moved his arm. If he wanted her to stop, he surely would have said, wouldn’t he? She knew he was awake, but he was quiet. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to raise her head up to look at him.

She walked her hand from where she’d bunched their shifts down to Thorfinn’s bare skin, and rolled is thigh between her own. Was it his sweat or her own that she felt? Hesitantly, she glided her fingers flat on his pelvis. As her palm fell against his skin and her pinkie finger brushed rough hair, she heard him gasp. It wasn’t a loud one, but it had a shudder to it. Curiosity got the better of her, and she freed her face to the cool air. He wasn’t looking at her, but she could still see his face well enough. His eyes were closed, and his complexion—he was just as red as she was, or as red as she felt she was. Even his ear was splotched red. The man almost never blushed, and yet when he did...

He opened his eyes. She couldn’t see where he was looking from where she lay, but she could see the shift of his eyelashes. Her breath caught in her throat, and was knocked out of her by a sigh of her own as his thigh slid against her as his leg freed itself of her own. She was unraveled from him as he turned onto his side, driving in the night air between the blankets in the space their bodies had made for it. His shift kissed her skin where it dipped as he shrugged it off, and as he got it over his head and dropped it onto a heap on ground, she greedily took in the moment to look at his body. Peppered with scars and with more muscles than a person had any right to have. It almost didn’t feel right, that she had been so lucky to have a man like this.

She thought it fabric before, when she felt something against her drawn-up thigh. But it was still there even when he’d begun to help her with her own shift, and she became all too aware of how close his hips were to her own. He took his time with her clothing, at least, letting her squirm out from it as he pulled it upward and exposed her. Somehow, she wasn’t embarrassed like before. It had been something he’d seen, after all, if only once. It was the frigid draft between them that got her to cover her chest.

“You’re letting all the warm air out,” she mumbled. For the first time, she saw his face. He raised his brows, as if he hadn’t even noticed the cold air. But then his gaze softened, and he leaned back down on his side and pulled her in close to him, his hands warm and welcoming as they were rough. The cold tickled her back still, where their fur blanket didn’t quite reach the cot, but she scarce paid attention to it as his lips found hers. Why had she been so nervous before? She was sure she would have tensed the other day at the way his hand grabbed the inside of her thigh and massaged her skin with the tips of his calloused fingers, but for now, all she could think about was that she’d like nothing more in the world than for this to continue forever.

It was still too much for her to try and _ really  _ touch him,  _ there _ , but she felt where she pleased, trailing her fingers over every scar and relishing in what little sounds he made between the kisses he left on her lips and neck and ear. But those were all just whispers compared to the noise that she even surprised herself with, when Thorfinn’s fingers at her thigh had gone up and slid between her legs. 

“Someone’s going to hear you,  Gudri .” It wasn’t possible for Gudrid to blush any more than she already was, but if it were, she would. Her hands pressed firmly over her mouth, and she fluttered her eyes up to watch Thorfinn’s expression.  Apparently, he was just as surprised as she had been.

“I thought Einar was being dramatic about— It really is like a fruit.” That stupid conversation they’d had. She would scold him, but she couldn’t risk moving her mouth from her lips. Once his fingers slid down her again, she had to suppress another noise as her leg quivered. It hadn’t even occurred to Gudrid that it was possible to feel this good. This is what she’d been missing out on last time? Thank God, or Odin, or whatever was out there that she’d decided to ask Ylva for help. That Thorfinn had decided to ask Einar for help. 

In a drunken-like haze, she loosened one of her hands from over mouth, though the other stayed tight. If he could touch her like that, then  surely she could return the favor, couldn’t she? She was his wife—She kept her eyes squeezed shut and felt along his body, and just as his fingers had curled up and inside of her, she had found his cock. The quiet groan it had drawn from Thorfinn’s lips sent electricity up her spine. 

He shooed her arm away and pulled himself up onto an elbow, his hand leaving the space between her legs to grab her thigh again. He had always been gentle with her, but he seemed to forget his strength. His grip wasn’t quite bruising, but it sent the breath out of her when he forced her leg up. The gentleness in his expression had left him, too. She’d never seen him have quite that look before, brows knit tight and his jaw tilted heavy with tension. She could only imagine what her own face looked like. If she could think of anything but the utter relief of him filling her up. His pelvis pressed rough to the back of her thighs, and her eyes threatened to roll up to the back of her head. What had she been missing out on her whole life? She always thought it stupid, stories of other peasant girls that’d go let boys shove their fingers up their dresses. She had been the stupid one. Oh, oh, she had definitely been the stupid one.

Her arms were as rigid as boulders as they held her hands tight to her mouth, so desperate to keep herself silent with each time Thorfinn rocked his hips and grunted, that she instinctively tried to fight him off when he grabbed her wrists and forced them to the side. He’d never had to use his strength on her before, but he had thrown both her arms back at the sides of her head with the effort of forcing open an already-unbuttoned coat. He replaced her hands with his lips over her own, and Gudrid could swear she could melt right there. What the hell else was there to do in life than this?

His sea-salt scent invaded her every sense like an infection, filling her mind with a thick haze. She was certain she was trying to move, too, but any gesture her hips made were nothing compared to how Thorfinn pushed into her. She could hear the slapping of their skin, but it hadn’t even occurred to her through the haze that it would be something others could hear. Nor his grunts, growing louder as he pushed against her faster.

Just like before, with his weight over her, she couldn’t breathe. Not that she cared, not when she felt so good. Not that she wanted to give up any amount of space between their lips to take a moment for air. His hips were faltering against her, no longer the rhythmic thump they were before but instead lingering at the end of each stroke. That ragged breathing was back—Rather than kiss her more, he’d buried his face in her shoulder again, freeing her hands to hold her body as he groaned into her ear with each last forceful thrust. And then... He stopped. 

He didn’t let go of her all at once, instead opting to hold onto her as their mixed gasps filled the cold room. She wrapped her arms loose around his shoulders, furrowing her brows as he finally took himself out from her and rolled back onto his back.

“Thats’s... You’re done?” She sat up, watching him incredulously.

He blinked at her, face still flush, barely mustering the strength to wipe sweat from his forehead. 

“I could do that forever,” Gudrid elaborated. “You had to stop? I guess—I guess it has to stop. I could do that forever. Do you really have to go to sleep yet? Thorfinn?” 

He was already closing his eyes, only showing he was hanging onto consciousness with a gently tick upward of his brows at his name. It really—Gudrid huffed, but grabbed the fur blankets where they had rolled to the end of the bed. The sweat evaporating at her skin was already threatening to freeze her. She supposed it couldn’t last forever. But as she covered the both of them up and pressed her bare body back to Thorfinn’s again, finding her place in the space under his limp arm, she could at least look forward to next time. Maybe she could even get away from some chores tomorrow and...

Ah. He was snoring already?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever write a fanfic and you reach just about when the end of the chapter should be, and then the planned sex scene happens and suddenly the chapter is twice as long than expected?  
> A good problem to have.
> 
> A bad problem to have is that I started to take this fic seriously enough that it's fueled a further hyperfixation on Vinland Saga that caused me to reread a bunch of bits and realize that I COMPLETELY fucked up the layout of the house (and the existence of any windows) and now I just gotta quietly pretend like I didn't. But it's also better this way cuz it's embarrassing to imagine Thorfinn and Gudrid fucking in the main room since it seems like their bed actually got set up right next to the hearth that they eat at, near the front door. 😓 Though I do wonder where the hell Einar was sleeping in canon... They couldn't have relegated him to the barn, right???


	5. A problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bathing day, and an attempt to sneak away.

“Ugh...  Ouhh ....  Nnh !  Agh ...!”

Thorfinn was having a nightmare again. She wasn’t sure if he’d just begun to and had woke her up right at the start of it, but it was hard to imagine she’d sleep through the jostling of him squirming under her head so much. It took her a moment to tear herself from her grogginess and the leftovers of her own dreaming, but she dragged herself up into a sitting position to look over him.

Some part of her was hoping that what they were doing last night would make him sleep through the night, but apparently not. She really couldn’t reach him in his dreams, no matter how hard she tried to hug him. Even if it were just dreams, she couldn’t help but be driven somewhat mad with frustration. The clearly moronic thought ‘I’m his wife, shouldn’t I be able to help him?!’ kept creeping into her mind.

She could at least settle for helping him in what little way was  possible. She pressed a hand to his bare chest and shook him gently.

“Thorfinn. Thorfinn. Thorf--”

“AUGH.”

He flew up the moment he woke this time, and as he got his bearings, Gudrid leaned over the bed to grab their shifts. She pulled on hers, and pushed away the hand Thorfinn was rubbing his face with so she could pull his own shift over his head. 

“I think... I think it’s morning. I think I could hear Einar and Ari talking in the other room,” she told him, rubbing life into her cheeks roughly. “It’s hard to tell when you’re so tired after getting interrupted by a dream. Is this how you always feel?”

“You were dreaming, too?” She nodded. “Not the same thing, was it?”

“No, no. I had a good dream. Not to brag.” Her hands still pressed to her cheeks, she glanced in his direction and passed a coy smile. “I dreamt we were on the sea by ourselves, off the coast of Vinland. Karli was napping and we were just sitting and watching the clouds.”

He seemed to consider words. He always had a way of doing that, in moments like this. Maybe it was because he was still only half-here, half in his dream, but he always seemed to just stare at her quietly when she told him things like that. He was never one to lie, but it felt as though she could only see the surface of his true feelings sometimes. Maybe that would stop over time. Einar seemed to know him well enough, after all.

That was it. They just needed time. And while he was busy looking off into nowhere, she shifted closer and wrapped her arms around his wide shoulders.

“Hn?” 

“Maybe if I hug you like this, some of my dreams can rub off onto you.” The weight of one of his hands rested on the small of her back, and he didn’t respond back. Whatever. The gesture was appreciation enough. She nuzzled her face to his, and finally clambered off the bed.

“Today is  laurdag , isn’t it—Yeah. Yeah. It’s warm enough, do you want to bathe in the river, or should we heat water in a pot?” She picked out his clothes for him and threw them at him as he pulled himself to the side of the bed, and next took out her own clothes.

“Karli gets bored and starts trying to run around if he isn’t bathing in the river. If he can splash, he’ll be easier to clean,” Thorfinn replied, dragging his limbs as he pulled on each item of clothing. A wake-up bathing would do him well. 

“I was thinking the same,” Gudrid agreed, leaning over to pull on her boots. Thorfinn’s footsteps sounded on the ground behind her, and just as she was finished with her second shoe, a cold finger pressed to her thigh. She yelped and stumbled, though Thorfinn grabbed her bicep and steadied her just as she was beginning to fall. 

“You have a hole in your pants.”

“Thanks!! You could have just told me! Stop teasing me like that!” She huffed, tugging her arm away from him so she could get a better look. The same pants as yesterday. Her cheeks reddened. “Ugh. I forgot to sew them yesterday.”

“Was that from when you were wandering around in the forest and hit Einar in the head with your shoe when you overheard us? What were you doing back there, anyway?”

Oh, she could die. They both saw right through that lie, she knew it. She stood straight, but sunk her head into her tensed shoulders and refused to look back toward him. Anything else she came up with would be seen through too, if her face was as red as it felt. And there was no way she would admit the truth. Nope. No way.  Ragnarök could come and she’d kindly keel over and die before ever saying a word of it.

And as if she wasn’t going through enough torture, Thorfinn’s thick hand weighed down on her shoulder. He lightly pinched between her neck and shoulder, massaging and forcing her to relax. 

“You can tell me anything,  Gudri .” Ah, that nickname. It wasn’t as if it were only him that said it, but somehow when it came out from between his lips, she felt weak at the knees. She reached her thumb up and bit it, built her courage, and looked over her shoulder at his concerned, stupid face. Like he was worried she got attacked by a bear or something. 

“I--  I.. I wanted to go somewhere and... I don’t know, think. Privately. About...” She gestured wildly to their bed, her cheeks flaring as she watched his blue eyes follow her hand and his brows raise. “Don’t make me say the rest! It’s embarrassing. I told you, stop teasing me.” She kicked off her boots and pants again, and took out her frustration by haphazardly digging through their chest for another pair of trousers. 

Then Thorfinn let out a loud, horrible laugh. She sunk closer to the clothes as she rifled through them. He deserved a beating for this kind of punishment. But just as she opened her mouth to yell at him, he spoke.

“It’s funny that we both did the same thing.”

She blinked. ...Well. That certainly was what he and Einar were talking about. And she had even thought to ask Ylva for advice, too. She gripped a pair of trousers loosely and looked back at him, biting her lip as joined him in a smile. 

“I’m always surprised by how alike we are. Do you remember on the ship after the nonsense with the  Jomsvikings , and we realized we had such similar stories of being young and being mesmerized by Leif?” 

Her smile softened as she pulled on the trousers, nodding her head in silence. They both dreamt of being sailors as little kids, pulled in by Leif’s stories. Her boots were pulled on again, and as she began to get up, Thorfinn grabbed under her arm and pulled her to her feet. She gave him one last smile, and then pressed her face to his collarbone, wrapping her arms as tight as she could around him. His own arms circled her, but far more gently. 

“Karli’s probably eager for us to get up by now.”

“Ah... Yeah,” Gudrid sighed, taking her last opportunity to breathe in Thorfinn’s scent. “Too bad. I don’t think that we’ll have another night alone.”

Thorfinn hummed in agreement, and after another moment to savor it, the hug was ended. And once they opened their door, Karli had all but toppled her when he came  barreling into her shins.

.

.

.

It was always a marvel to her, to see how quickly Karli could toss off all his clothes. He was already half-nude at the start of the day, particularly difficult about putting on any type of pants, but the moment they reached the river, he’d maneuvered out of what clothes he’d allowed Gudrid to put on him like a cat freeing itself from someone’s unwanted grip. It had only been so long ago that he couldn’t even stand by himself, and now... Well. Now here he was, constantly trying to push her buttons and attempt to kill himself. She’d just barely been able to grab the boy’s arm before he had a chance to drown himself by diving in.

“We have to stay on the shallow side, haven’t I told you?” She chided her son as Thorfinn busied himself with taking his clothes off. “Or you’re only getting baths from the pot until we reach Vinland.” He scrunched his nose at the very idea and stopped struggling so much against Gudrid’s grip. 

“Gudri,” Thorfinn took Karli’s other hand so she could pass their son off to him. “Can I get one of the bars of soap?” At his request, she pulled one out from the basket she brought with them and handed it off to him. He waded into the river and sat himself on a rock, keeping just shallow enough for Karli to splash around up to his chest. And while they were busy, she picked up their discarded clothes and folded them all to put back in the basket.

Thorfinn, Einar, and the others had all seemed so comfortable with nudity, and  surely she should have become somewhat accustom to it, given how often they had to do things like bathe together in their journeys. Not that she wanted to remember the first time where she learned she had to relieve herself in front of a bunch of men on that little boat. But no matter how many times she went through the motions, it wasn’t quite the same as her little home in Greenland where she’d only bathe with her family, or at Leif’s hometown, where the only people there to bathe were other women. Viking beliefs were different, but Christianity had said nudity was a sin, had it not? 

Not that she was that much of a practicing Christian, other than the cross constantly around her neck.

Regardless, she’d still managed to find a time and a part of the river where they at least had some privacy from the rest of the village. Karli seeing her was fine, and Thorfinn- as embarrassing as it still felt, he’d seen every inch of her that was there to be seen already. And besides, after she’d stripped her own clothes, once she could hide herself by squatting down in the water next to Karli, she felt far less exposed. 

“Karli, look at you, being so good for daddy while he washes your hair. Will you be good for me later when I give you a haircut?” It was getting long, after all. It was always hard to notice those things until the strands of red hair, darkened to a deep amber, stuck to his forehead in wet clumps and clearly seemed to threaten to get into his eyes.

“No!” he shouted, as seemed to be his favorite word these past few months. She and Thorfinn exchanged a glance. No point in arguing with him now. That would be a battle for later. Probably when he was too tired to even notice her doing it.

“Alright, Karli.” Thorfinn handed off the bar of soap to Gudrid, and gripped Karli by his sides. “You’re all soaped up. Are you ready to get rinsed off?”

“Yeah!” The toddler surged in excitement, and Thorfinn flew him into the air as he stood, carrying the both of them out into deeper water. Gudrid followed, and while Thorfinn spun Karli around in the water and occasionally dunked him under for a couple seconds at a time, much to the toddler’s delight, she busied herself with washing her own hair. 

By the time that Karli was satisfied and Thorfinn was able to wad him back to land, Gudrid was mostly done with washing herself.

“Run around for a while until you dry off! Then come back to get dressed!” Thorfinn told him when Karli was already running full speed, in the nude, out into the grass where Mama had been napping. 

“Ah. He’s going to get full of dog hair before he’s even dry,” Gudrid sighed when Thorfinn returned to her. “And look at him go. He’s got no shame at all.”

“Hn? You should be glad he seems mostly done with that phase of pulling his cock out at every opportunity.”

“Don’t remind me.” That had been a wild time. It had been like a switch had gone off in his brain, realizing one day that he had his own personal toy between his legs. 

Thorfinn made a pass at the soap on Gudrid’s hand, but she jerked her hand away from him and gestured for him to turn around instead. He obliged, keeping his head turned just enough to keep watching Karli, and Gudrid began to wash his hair. This was another thing she’d found she loved about him since they had begun courting. His hair, feathery and fluffy. Another soft part of him, hidden with all the rough scars and callouses. She was never much interested in her own hair; it was thick and too dry and felt near to straw, in her opinion. But Thorfinn’s? Thorfinn’s hair, sunny and shiny as it was, she liked.

“I was thinking,” Thorfinn spoke, drawing her from her thoughts. She hummed an acknowledgement of his words, letting him know she was listening. “We have some time to spare today. We might not have another night without Karli, but if we leave him with his cousins, we could probably sneak off.”

“I... What?! Sneak where?!”

“Hm?” He looked over his shoulder at her, brows raised cluelessly. “Wherever you wandered off to before.”

“Don’t bring that up again!” Her hands left his hair, dropping with one still clutching the soap to his shoulders. “I—...In the forest?” ...She guessed she’d done her business enough times in the middle of one. She pursed her lips, avoiding Thorfinn’s eyes as she debated it. No, there was probably not a good chance they’d be getting alone time soon. And... Last night was.... Her cheeks reddened, and she brought her thumb to her lips. 

“We could sit on my cloak.”

“Ah... That’s true.” She glanced back at him again, reddening further as soon as their eyes met. How was he not blushing? Like it was the most casual conversation in the world to him. Like-- “Wait. You were just sitting and thinking about this?”

Thorfinn shrugged, straightened, rubbed his scalp clean, and dunked into the water. 

“MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYY, I’m  dryyyyyyyyy !” Karli came running with Mama padding close behind. No mud on him, thankfully. Thorfinn came up for air, and after sharing a glance, she handed off the soap to him so he could finish washing while she came back to land to help Karli dress. Thankfully, she’d brought some pants in that basket of hers that she managed to wrestle onto him this time. She was mostly dry herself by the time she’d actually gotten some clothes on him, and when she was certain he wasn’t going to just tear them off again, she started to pull her own clothes on and looked toward Thorfinn. He was hunched slightly, his abs pushed out and tensing as he tried to get a better look at some fleck of  dirt he was scratching off near his belly button. He’d had that same knit to his brows when he...

She was biting her thumb again. She only noticed it when she glanced down at Karli to see him mimicking her. She tore the digit from her mouth, cheeks flaring, and went back to tying her boots in place. 

“You’re gone being dressed, Karli. Why don’t you go find where your cousins are? And make sure they’re not playing by the cliffs again. Your aunt was just yelling at them the other day.” And off he went. At least he was at an age that he didn’t have to necessarily be watched all the time. Especially with older children and Hild to look after him, and that dog. 

Thorfinn finished one last rinse-off before coming out from the river, shaking himself dry and not seeming to bother with air drying much more before he began to put his clothes on. She began to protest, but he did bring up a point that shut her up right away: 

“I’ll be taking it off again in a second anyway.”

Even if she wanted to argue, his bluntness shocked her into a shy silence, and she tore her eyes from him to look around. No one seemed to be paying much attention. Far enough away that they had some privacy, though she could see Ari and Ylva collecting firewood in the distance. No one would notice. Still, her face burned and her heart threatened to beat out her chest, like they’d be caught in an instant even though they weren’t even doing anything yet. Why did it feel like sneaking around? They were married, and still... 

Thorfinn grabbed her hand, taking her attention. He spent no time at all starting to lead her off, and had even grabbed the basket she’d forgotten on the ground. He was so calm about it, his grip so casual and loose, his stride so steady, but Gudrid could swear she would faint if he let go of her. She held onto his hand like a lifeline, embarrassed already by how clammy she knew her palm was. She wanted to ask him how he could stay so casual, but it felt like if she spoke up, someone would hear her, even though no one was within earshot.

“HEY!”

They both froze. Gudrid’s breath caught in her throat, and she could feel her ears burning while Thorfinn turned to look who was calling.

“Ari? What’s wrong?”

She didn’t dare turn all the way, and didn’t once let go of his hand. But she did glance over her shoulder just enough to see Ylva’s husband trekking up the hill to meet them, Ylva close behind, bunching her dress in her hands as she climbed.

“Aren’t you guys worried?” 

“Huh?” Thorfinn was stroking her hand with the back of her thumb. She looked forward again, refusing to look at either of them as he handled the conversation. “What, are there bears? Gudrid said she saw some good berries we thought we might be able to--”

“We’re married too, Thorfinn,” Ari cut in. Oh, God. She could die. “Aren’t you worried about being pregnant?”

“They’re married, why would they care?” Ylva. 

“Well. It’s about a year or so, give or take, before they leave, right? Aren’t you worried about getting pregnant?” Oh.  _ Oh.  _ Gudrid spun around with wide eyes, all shame leaving her and quickly replaced by horror, though her hand never left Thorfinn’s. 

“I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right,” Ylva agreed, rubbing her chin. “Even if it warms sooner next year. You’re either going to have a newborn on the ship, or, worst case, you’re about ready to go into labor when you board. That’s no good. You’d probably even want to spare some time for the birth so you can have at least one piece of proper shelter there.”

“Oh.” Thorfinn had sighed, the same tone as if he’d just been told to rethink the  amount of livestock to bring on board. He scratched his head with his free hand, and glanced at her with a small frown.

“You know, I wish you’d thought to bring that up yesterday night, Ari.”

“It’s not like I knew what you were doing, I was outside feeding the sheep when you--” Ylva waved her hand at him, and pointed to Gudrid. She tensed. 

“Did you orgasm?”

“Did I—Did I  _ what _ ?”

“You’ve never been told? You need both orgasms to make a baby. It doesn’t happen every time. Did you?”

“I...” She could feel her palm slipping against Thorfinn’s from the sweat she was giving off. She recalled being told that by her sister-in-law and her mother a few times, but had been lost in a sea of other things about marriage that had gone in one ear and out the other as a stubborn child. “I don’t... I’m not sure...”

Ylva cut her mumbling with a hearty laugh. Hadn’t she been through this before just this morning with Thorfinn? They had the same laugh, she realized. 

“If you don’t know, you didn’t. You’re fine. Ari’s right. You should be careful. It’s probably best not to even try to get pregnant until you actually get there, honestly.” She glanced at Ari, and they nodded in agreement.

She hadn’t even paid attention to them leaving. The words stuck in her head, running over and over again. They shouldn’t even try... For...  _ For a year _ ? Slowly, she turned her head to glance at Thorfinn. And for once, he looked just as surprised as she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been doing some research for this fic, actually. Vikings actually believed that the female orgasm was crucial to conception. That little factoid fit in very nicely with the story, lmao.  
> I know vikings bathed co-ed, but Gudrid really speaks to me as someone who's still embarrassed about stuff like nudity, particularly around men. She's so embarrassed about so many other things. She never really shows it but Leif mentions he's a Christian and Gudrid wears a cross around her neck, so it seems she probably is too (she's from one of the two colonies he set up in Greenland..), so I figure... Maybe she's got some reservations where her culture clashes with her religion.


	6. The Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gudrid and Thorfinn are young and... eager.

“It doesn’t have to be a full year, right?”

“I... At least close to it, how long do you think it’ll take us to build those houses? And I’ll need to be fit enough to help--”

“How long does it even take for a baby to be born?”

_ “You don’t know?” _ Gudrid shook her head incredulously as the two huddled beside a tree, whispering to each other as if anyone were still in earshot now that Ari and Ylva had left, and with far more panic in their voices than there really had any right to be. “A bit over nine months. I won’t be much help in the third trimester either, so that’s at least six months before... And like Ylva said, we should probably play it safe, but...”

Her voice  pittered off, and they both frowned at each other before  turning their gazes away in thought.

“I could put it in your--”

“No. Don’t finish that sentence.” She rubbed her chin. “But-- We could just... Touch each other.”

Their gazes locked again. After quick scan to confirm that no one was watching them, Gudrid grabbed the basket and they headed off, again holding hands. They  couldn’t just... Not do anything, after planning it. After having an opportunity. It was too perfect to waste. And now that  she’d realized just how good it was after last night, she  didn’t want  to just... Go without it for another year. Especially when  she’d be sleeping next to him every night.

Thorfinn slowed to a stop after a couple minutes of walking, and his hand let go of hers to travel up her arm and rest at her shoulder.

“I think this is probably a good enough distance that no one would walk this far accidentally.”

“...You don’t think we’ll get lost, do you?” The idea crept up on her. It was one thing when she took a walk, sat down, and came back. She turned to look back at the ocean of trees they passed, and rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

“It’s not that big an island, we’re fine. I’ve gotten lost in worse.”

That was right. He used to be a  vagabond Viking boy. From his stories, he seemed to be the one that was sent off away from the group often. Plenty of time for him to get lost. She dropped her hand and looked back at her husband, halfway through unbuckling his belt. 

_ “You- You’re just gonna take your clothes off right here?” _

“...What else would I be doing?” The small frown and innocent wide eyes he gave her when he looked up, his hands frozen on his belt, made her feel stupid. She guessed in some way he was right. But...

“I don’t know. I just—I... Some kind of privacy.” Her cheeks were burning again. Instinctively, her hands came up to hide her face behind. “I know I’ve gone to the bathroom and bathed a million times in the woods, but this feels way too different!”

Something heavy dropped down over her shoulders. She split her fingers to peek between them, and found Thorfinn had taken a step closer and draped his massive cloak around the both of them. 

“How’s this?” His hands came between them and worked at the large pin on his collarbone that held the cloak in place. “I was going to just use it as a blanket to lay on top of, but this works, too.”

“Ah...” It was definitely warm. And the thing was so big that it certainly provided privacy. Still, it felt too embarrassing to so casually just reply with a yes. Not when it was about just going at it like animals in the woods. And yet, when she gave a little nod and Thorfinn cupped the back of her head so softly as he took back his cloak, she forgot all about shame. She could do whatever he wanted, if he just held her like that for a little longer. But he let go, if only to lay out the cloak on the ground and get down on top of it. The excess of Thorfinn’s cloak was draped over his shoulders so it could be pulled up as a blanket, and he raised his hand to offer her help. The basket was left in the grass when she took his hand, and their bodies fidgeted together as they tried to get comfortable sandwiched in the cloak. 

It was only once  she’d been settled underneath him, did she take a moment to stop and admire just how close he was to her. Hovering over close enough that she could taste his breath. The usual sea salt smell was masked with soap and the  more muddy smell of the river. But still Thorfinn. Still  recognizably Thorfinn’s smell. 

“Your cheeks,” Thorfinn spoke, bringing her from her own thoughts as he turned his head down to go back to unbuckling his belt. Her hands lifted to her face. What about them? “They’re always red. It’s cute that to compensate, when you really want to blush, your whole face gets red.” 

His belt jingled as it dropped beside her head. She had been thinking of his smell, and he was thinking about her, too. He liked her cheeks? He called her cute. 

“You think I’m cute?” Thorfinn, in the middle of pulling his shirt over his shoulders, wrinkled his brow.

“You’re my wife, why wouldn’t I?” And she supposed that was true. A stupid question to ask. They had a child together, albeit an adopted one. He told her plenty that he loved her. Here he was, ripping his clothes off on top of her. And yet...

“I guess sometimes it’s hard to believe,” she whispered back to him, her eyes traveling down his chest and all his scars. She could hear the jostle of clothes where he’d dropped his shirt, and while she hadn’t taken an ounce of clothing off, her fingers began to trace his body. “That someone like you would find someone like me interesting.” 

“ Gudri .” His hands grabbed hers. There was force behind his grip, though not nearly enough to hurt her. Just to widen her eyes and drag all her attention to him as he shook them and leaned down closer to her again. “Listen to me. I am no one interesting. I was a bad person who killed people. You have never done anything like that. I was a slave. You were never a slave. I got the name  Karlsefni because I fought Thorkell. You, Gudrid, were too scary for Thorkell to fight when you challenged him. He turned you down because you were too scary. You stabbed your old husband to fight to live the life you want. You are a more interesting person than I am,  Gudri .” 

She was stiff as she laid there below him, barely conscious of the chill of the ground floor seeping into her body as she stared into his honey-colored eyes. A more interesting person than him. Surely that wasn’t true, but she couldn’t dare argue. She only nodded again, mesmerized by the stern glare of his gaze. His breath tickled her lips as he leaned down closer, sealing his words with his mouth. 

She became all too conscious of the weight of his hips against hers as he leaned down into her. She could die, being crushed to death by him, and be happy about it. His tongue left her mouth tingling, and his lips migrated to her neck. Her own clothes were still on, she remembered. And after he let her hands go to shift his weight onto his forearms, she took advantage of the shift in his body over her to undo her own belt. She spent no time trying to tug it out from over her to leave it beside his own, and even as she pulled up her tunic for him, she weaseled her arms out of it but let it hang over her neck. Easy to snake back into, she decided. 

One of his warm hands found her breast, leaving goosebumps where his  calloused fingers trailed. The first time  he’d played with them,  she’d barely felt a thing. But anywhere he touched her today felt like heaven. And when he rolled his clothed hips against her own and groaned in her ear, she was certain she could die happy. Her hands found his shoulders and slid up his neck to cup his jawline, where she drew him back to her mouth. He rolled against her a few more times, his bulge in his pants seeming more  evident against her each time, until their hips separated again. Their lips parted, though only to breathe as his hand started tugging at her trousers. She lifted her hips to help him pull them down around her thighs.

When he ran his fingers down her, she whined in a way she  didn’t think she could, half a stumbling gasp for breath. At  first she wanted to cover her mouth, but as soon as the thought occurred to her, she realized there was no need, this far out in the forest. 

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to touch you,” she could hear him mumble to her. Her eyes had already closed to focus on the pressure of his fingers as they slid up and down. “Is this--”

“ Mnhmn ,” Gudrid replied, nodding her head out of a lack of true words for a third time today. Her leg quivered, and another shaky sigh dripped from her lips when Thorfinn started kissing her neck again. Her own hands fumbled between their bodies, finding Thorfinn’s trousers to try and focus on pushing down. His hand left between her legs to help her, dropping them down between his knees so she could run her fingers over the surprisingly soft skin of his cock.

He hummed when she touched him, and her eyes fluttered open to  take a look at his face as he raised his head from her neck. His lips were splotched red, and his brows  furrowed as his eyes closed. She scarce ever saw him blush, this sort of reaction felt like something out of a dream.

“We... We can do it,” she whispered. At first just the corner of his brow lifted upward as he listened to her, but as the meaning of her words  actually seemed to reach him, his eyes opened.

“But--”

“I’ll just... I  won’t orgasm again. Like last time. Like last time. That’s good enough for me.” He looked back at her for a moment, and his brows still tight as he seemed to deliberate. But in the end, he leaned his weight back onto his knees and grabbed her thighs, pushing them to one side over his hip so he  didn’t need to tug her trousers down any further. Even just the sight of him doing it, his muscles tense from anticipation, made her breath hitch. And when he pushed himself inside her, it felt like the relief of a lifetime, like a scratch that had been nagging at her for her whole life had just been itched. Like he was just where he was always meant to be.

The idea of privacy had been completely forgotten where the cloak had toppled halfway over Thorfinn’s hips. Another thing  she’d forgotten she was meant to be ashamed about. She  couldn’t care, not when it felt so good to have her husband grip her so tight by the hips. He kept a steadier pace this time, clouding her vision as his pelvis rocked against her, hardly seeming to want to fully leave. Her hands had found themselves splayed and forearms pressed into the cloak on the ground to give Thorfinn support as he pushed down into her, forcing herself to stay steady. 

He sunk down as he mumbled her name, sinking his hips against her with the rest of him, pinning her down to the ground with her tights still sticking together from sweat on one side of her. Thorfinn’s forehead found hers, and with him so close, she  wasn’t sure where his gasps began and hers ended. With her hands free from being support with his new position over her, her fingers once again found themselves cupping his face, keeping him close as he pushed himself into her over and over and over. Nothing else mattered to her in the  whole world other than this. Being with him. The concept of pregnancy was lost to her mind, replaced only by the sound of Thorfinn’s labored breathing and the pressure of his pelvis against the back of her thighs. Her feet twisted and curled, any thoughts completely leaving her as he began to pick up speed. It felt good. Good. Better than anything  she’d ever experienced in her life. Better than last time. She could feel a tingle running  all across her body, tickling every single inch of her until her eyes threatened to roll back. She squeezed onto Thorfinn where she could, and she lost her breath entirely as her body tensed. Tensed like  she’d never experienced before. Wrung out like a towel soaked with honey. And still pinned tight and warm against Thorfinn, whose soft blonde hair tickled her own with their foreheads pressed together. 

For a moment, she all but ceased to exist as a person. Nothing but a half a being made whole by the life that Thorfinn pressed into her. Not a single thought passed her mind, completely wiped clean just by will of their two bodies together. When she did have a thought again, it was the realization that Thorfinn’s thrusts staggered. He pushed into her a few more times and slowed with their hips still together, gasping for breath over her. When he opened his eyes, it was all she could see. She could melt, staring into them. Though it felt like  she’d melted already.

“You’re crying,” he whispered. Was that why his brows never untensed? She loosened one of her hands from him to touch under her eyes. She was. She  hadn’t even noticed.

“It just... It felt so good.” Thorfinn stared at her like she was insane, but her hands circled around his shoulders and tugged him down so she could  nuzzle her nose against his. “...Hold onto me for longer. I just want to lay like this. I love you, Thorfinn.”

He obliged.

It  wasn’t until some time had passed, when the cool ground began creeping into her bones again and Thorfinn’s weight against her felt more suffocating than pleasant, did she realize what Ylva must have meant, when she laughed that Gudrid ‘would know.’

“Oh. Oh,  shit .”

“ Hmn ?” Thorfinn’s hair tickled her neck as he rubbed his face further into the crook of her shoulder. Too comfortable to bother to get up, it seemed.

“I- … We  weren’t supposed to, I  wasn’t supposed to, you know. But I did.”

“Was that what that was?”

“Don’t say it like that! What do you mean, was that what that was?!” She pushed herself up onto her forearms, and in turn Thorfinn sat himself up and rubbed his face drowsily. 

“You crying. And you were holding me with a strength I  didn’t know you had. Actually, it was like you were trying to even hold onto my cock--”

“Shh!” She whacked him on the arm before he could finish his sentence, her face burning all over again. She tugged her tunic back down, pulled her pants back up, and sat up, all while Thorfinn scratched his head. “This is bad, exactly what they were warning us against. Embarrassing...”

“ So you’re pregnant, then?”

“Huh? No. It  doesn’t happen that fast. I don’t think.” She rubbed her chin, her other hand fishing around in the grass to find Thorfinn’s tunic and hand it to him. “I’ll only know when I don’t bleed. Like I told you before, the other day.”

Thorfinn nodded, looking far more fascinated at the subject than he had any right to be. Did he even understand the dilemma they were in? Then again, he  probably didn’t even understand how dangerous pregnancy could be. If he  didn’t know what a period was... 

“Thorfinn, have you ever been around a pregnant woman?” He frowned and finally began to clothe himself again. There was a moment of quiet as he thought.

“ Maybe some women in villages that were raided, but I never paid attention. There was a slave woman that had just found out that she was pregnant when Einar and I were slaves, too.  Arnheid . She lost the baby, though.” 

She’d heard bits of that story. How Einar had been ready to kill their master but Thorfinn had stopped him. How they made the vow to create Vinland together that day. Still, only newly pregnant... 

“You at least know how big a woman’s belly gets, right?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Now imagine how big the baby in there has to be.  Probably smaller than Karli when we first met him, but not by much.”

“Right, okay.”

“Now imagine how something that size that comes out of where you were just putting yourself.” 

She could see the immediate click of understanding in his eyes, an expression that was quickly replaced with horror and panic. 

“You can’t be pregnant. What if you gave birth on the ride there?!” As if he  hadn’t realized  that’s what Ylva was warning him about in the first place. She nodded forcefully at him in agreement, and finally got up to her feet, buckled up her belt at her waist, and grabbed the basket of soap  they’d left. Thorfinn stumbled around with getting changed while continuing to mull over the dilemma, nearly forgetting the cloak on the ground in his panic. She picked it up in his stead, though found it so full of dirt that she just rolled it up and placed it in the basket as she followed him back to the village. 

“There’s not much more we can do but wait and see. But  I guess this means we...  Probably  shouldn’t risk doing much, if we just end up giving in.” Not that she wanted to give up something that  she’d just found she loved so much. They shared a glance, both of their jaws tightening at the idea of how long  they’d have to wait. If they were lucky. If her period came. He ran his fingers through his hair, mumbling under his breath.

“Womens’ bodies are so violent.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You aren't going to be able to tell a couple that young to just keep it in their pants. They just act it all out 'in the moment' and then afterward panic about what they did. 
> 
> It's also funny to think about just how little Thorfinn probably knows about women. Literally just knows the complete bare minimum that he could gather from outside observation while trekking around with nothing but Viking men.


	7. Freya's Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gudrid anxiously waits to see if she's pregnant.

The anxiety must have been clear enough on their faces when they came back home, considering Ari burst out laughing the moment he saw the two of them. Ugh. They at least were given the respect of not being jabbed at more than that. Though Gudrid wasn’t sure which was worse; Ari’s laughter or the pitying look provided by Helga, a look that was later shared by Einar when he came home and passed a few whispers between himself and Ari. Ylva, meanwhile, had done nothing more than stare into Gudrid’s eyes for a moment before letting out an exhausted sigh while they cooked dinner together.

So much for running off into the woods to be alone together. It seemed like everyone in the house knew their business. 

At least by the time dinner came and went, she mostly forgot about her worries. Once night had come and everyone had shuffled to sleep, and Thorfinn had finished warming the bed so Gudrid could place an already sleeping Karli down under the fur blankets, Gudrid knelt down at the foot of their bed and pressed her hands together. 

“What are you doing?” Thorfinn asked, his voice half a yawn.

“Praying. Kneel down, you do it too. Pray that God is nice to us and that I don’t end up pregnant. I probably don’t do this stuff often enough, but if there’s ever a time...” 

Thorfinn hesitated, but she could hear the shuffle of his shoes and the gentle thud as he knelt beside her. She peeked an eye open to glance at him; clasping his hands together awkwardly, and squeezing his eyes shut tight as if he thought something were meant to happen if  he wrinkled his face up enough. 

She closed her eye and spoke a quiet prayer for both of them, that God bless them with children only after they settled in Vinland, and that their settlement be peaceful. It turned out that Thorfinn knew enough about Christianity that he knew to mumble an ‘amen’ after her own, as well. Einar had told her once that he used to listen in on bible readings when they were slaves.

Thorfinn kicked off his shoes and pulled himself under the covers, while Gudrid pulled her hair free of her ponytail. He’d made room for her the same place she’d been laying since they began to sleep in the same bed. 

“No, hold on. We can’t do this,” she told him, setting herself down on the edge of the bed as she pulled her own shoes off. 

“Hm?” Thorfinn sat up on his forearms, watching as she took the snoring Karli into her arms and stuck him in the middle of the bed. It was only then that she got under the covers beside him, looking across the sleeping toddler to Thorfinn, who was giving her the same exact confused face as he had when he was praying moments before.

“You don’t think it’s better if we’re separate like this?” He kept that frown, so she sighed and tried to elaborate further, feeling her face redden as she did so. “If we’re so close to each other, don’t you think it’s more likely we want to do something? We can’t, so we might as well keep Karli here as a barrier so we don’t even think about it.”

“Huh. I guess you’re right,” he mumbled, scratching his scalp while Gudrid pressed her face into the blankets and tried to settle off to sleep. Though she’d gotten so accustom to breathing in his scent by burying her face against him. She supposed she could deal with this.

...Though just as soon as she had begun to settle off to sleep, she’d found herself opening her eyes to stare at Thorfinn again, the space between them past the tip of Karli’s red head of hair feeling more like an ocean apart than a half an arm’s distance. He had settled down into the furs as well, and while his eyes stayed closed as he lay on his back, he clearly wasn’t sleeping, either. She could already tell by the rise and fall of his chest, but it was confirmed when he decided to speak up again.

“So we can’t do anything.”

“Nope.”

“Not even--” His hand lifted, and his fingers wiggled. Her cheeks burned, and she reached over Karli to push his arm back down.

“No. It’s just going to end up like today.” Where they did it anyway, even when they had no real intentions to. She doubted she could trust herself any more than she could today, it was better not to play with fire. 

He was quiet again, and finally she convinced herself to keep her eyes closed. Still, she could hear Thorfinn shifting to get comfortable, and scratch his growing beard. He was thinking, that much was obvious. 

“What is it?” she murmured, not bothering to move a muscle.

“Hn? I was just... Since  _ we _ can’t do anything, I mean...” Her eyes shot open. No. Ohh, no, he better not say something about Hild. She might just strangle him right then and there. “...Back before we met you, Einar and I used to-- ...Why are you looking at me like that?”

Einar? She blinked at him. Thorfinn blinked back at her. She guessed in some roundabout way, it made sense. How many times had Einar nearly gotten himself killed trying to protect Thorfinn? 

“Wh... Why do you tell me these things? I didn’t need to--” Ohh, would she even be able to look Einar in the eyes the same way? And the lingering questions. Was that what Thorfinn meant earlier, when he said women are different than men, and he wasn’t sure how to make her feel good? She thought back then it was just because he knew his own body, but... “I didn’t need to know any of that, Thorfinn.”

“...So that’s a--”

“That’s a no,” she finished, finally retreating the hand that had been resting on his arm, so she could rub her face. “We’re suffering together.”

They fell into silence again, but this time, it was Gudrid who’s anxiety got the best of her.

“S... So... You used to--”

“I thought you didn’t need to know.”

“...” Her face reddened at that, and she could hear Thorfinn quietly chuckle at her lack of a response, making her redden more. She buried her face into the blankets and tried to pretend she hadn’t said anything. The weight of one of Thorfinn’s hands weighed on her scalp as he combed fingers through her hair. Hadn’t this been exactly what she was trying to warn him about? Agh. Agh... Even when she wanted to be upset-- 

“It’s normal with men, I think. At least it was with the warriors I was around, too. But I was mostly joking.”

“Mostly...”

He snorted at that, but his hand didn’t leave her. “I won’t do anything without you. I love you, Gudri.”

She peeped out from the blankets, only enough to allow her to still hide her face. He had closed his eyes, thankfully, and was only combing her hair by touch. She reached up and found his hand, clasping her fingers between his own, dry and calloused as they were. She led their hands to rest above Karli’s head. At least this way, the half an arm’s distance apart didn’t feel like such a distance. Certainly not as wide as an ocean.

Though, given their plan was to cross the ocean to Vinland... This was a way to start it, wasn’t it?

.

.

.

The anxiety continued past that night. The next day passed, and the next, and then a week. Gudrid was counting, but it wasn’t like her bleeding was ever that consistent. And apparently her mother-in-law had caught sight of the amount of times Gudrid was counting off the days on her fingers, because one day, as she worked at adding fabric to Karli’s clothing for him to grow out in, she was handed a cup.

“What’s this?” Gudrid asked, placing down the half-sewn clothing on her lap and taking the horn cup off Helga’s frail hands. Just a regular tea, from what she could tell. “I didn’t ask for tea.”

“Drink it. I had Ylva buy some  Frejanycklar from the market for you.” She slowly and carefully lowered down on the stool beside Gudrid, and lightly waved away the hand Gudrid outstretched to help her. 

Frejanycklar ; Freja’s keys. She’d heard of this before. Again, something that had gone in one ear and out the other that her mom had probably told her once. She stared down at the liquid for a moment more, before taking a sip. The taste immediately made her nose wrinkle, though she did her best to not spit up any of it in front of her mother-in-law. Helga laughed- a laugh different than Thorfinn and Ylva’s, she noted quietly as she drew the cup away from her face and forced herself to swallow what little she had drank. Their laugh must be their father’s. 

“You don’t drink it for taste, dear,” Helga explained, pulling a woven blanket around herself for warmth.

“Eh? It’s supposed to taste bad?” She squinted down at the cup again. 

“No, it just doesn’t matter how it tastes. You’re worried about pregnancy, aren’t you? This is your remedy. It prevents it.” The woman had an uncanny ability to read faces, because just a second after looking at Gudrid, she smiled softly. “I have two children quite a distance apart in age. Thors and I used this a number of times. I don’t think I’ve ever had quite the fortitude that Ylva does, to have so many children  back-to-back .” 

Oh. In that case, Gudrid mentally readied herself and chugged the thing, sucking down the liquid like it were mead, throwing it to the back of her throat rather than savoring the taste. 

“How much do I have to drink?!” Gudrid asked, containing a gag and gripping her cup with iron force.

“I-- Usually that was enough for me. How about we just let that sit for now, and next week if there’s no bleeding, you can drink more.” 

Gudrid thought to argue that it would maybe be best to drink a full kettle full at least, but just as soon as she opened her mouth, her stomach gurgled and a pang suddenly radiated in her side.

“Ah... That sounds good. Next week, then.”

“Right. I’ll finish this work, for you, dear.” She had only just begun to clutch her stomach when Helga took Karli’s clothes off from her lap. “Go talk a walk outside until you feel better. But don’t puke.”

As dreadful as that first drink was, it didn’t make her bleed. Every bit of wetness for the next few days had her springing up to eagerly check somewhere privately, and each time she was disappointed. It at least made it easier to not linger her eyes on Thorfinn too long, especially as the next Sunday came and went. Like hell she’d willingly put herself in a position where she’d have to drink more of that stuff.

She rolled out of bed the next morning, leaving Thorfinn half-asleep after stirring him from his nightmare. A week out, and she hadn’t bled yet. Meaning she’d have to drink more of that horrible stuff. Maybe she should have prayed a little harder. 

She groaned to herself at the thought of spending all her afternoon in the outhouse again as she pulled her shift up. The inside of her thighs were splotched red with blood.

“Ah-- THORFINN!” She spun on her heels with her shift still hitched up around her waist, a grin on her face, to see Thorfinn panicking over blood on his palm, from where his hand had touched the part of the bed she’d been laying on. 

Huh. Well, she hadn’t thought that she would be bleeding quite that much, but--

_ “WHAT THE HELL?” _ His eyes had finally landed where she stood and noticed the blood streaking down her legs. Karli blinked and waved his arms as he jerked himself up into a sitting position, waking from all the yelling. “Are you okay?! What happened?! Is that the baby?!”

“Thor-- The ba—No!” She shook her head roughly as she dropped her shift to dig through their chest to look for clean rags to clean herself with. “I’m not pregnant! I’m bleeding, like I told you!”

“Th-- That’s  _ normal? That much?!” _

“Ah... I guess not normally quite this much, not enough to go through to the blankets. I guess it’s laundry day today. Maybe laundry day for the rest of the week.”

_ “...The rest of the week?”  _ She snorted as she watched him continue to grapple with this new information. She finally found the rags and walked over to him first to wipe of his hand, then any excess she could from the blanket, and then her thighs.

“Every month, for a week,” she repeated to him. “Roll up the blanket.” 

He listened, but even once she’d tied some rags to herself to stay over her trousers, he looked like he’d been told the most horrifying thing he’d ever learned in his life. He didn’t even seem to notice Karli yanking his hair.

“Is it really that shocking to you? No one’s ever told you this before?” Gudrid asked, dressing herself. He blinked at her and seemed to come back to Earth, finally grabbing Karli’s hand to stop him from yanking his hair and holding him by the waist as he lifted him off the bed to go get dressed as well.

“No, no one’s ever told me. I’m just... Confused,” he replied. “People always act like women are dainty, and yet-- ...I can’t understand it. I don’t know how I would have ever reacted, even when I was a warrior, if I bled for a week straight.”

She blinked. Only a man like Thorfinn would say something like that. The same sort of man to be the only one she’d ever seen change a diaper. How had she managed to get so lucky? Honestly. She smiled and shook her head, and took Karli off his hands so he could dress himself while she dressed their son. 

“I just don’t understand how we’ve been traveling together for years and you never noticed. I know we weren’t sleeping in the same bed, but you never—I mean, we all did laundry.” 

“...” Thorfinn stopped halfway through rifling through their chest, leaned back, and stared up at the ceiling as he thought. “...I guess it just felt like someone got injured often enough that I didn’t really think much about dried blood on any of our clothes. Especially when Karli started teething.”

“...Ah. I can’t argue with that.” They never did seem particularly lucky on their adventures, despite Leif’s nickname. Even once things seemed to be going more smoothly for them and Sigurd was no longer on their heels, they still ended up in prison down South, and Thorfinn had still ended up with a new facial scar. 

“HEY, HURRY UP!” Ari’s voice boomed as he pounded on their door, stopping Gudrid’s hands in the middle of her tying Karli’s belt. “Everyone in the house could hear you! Let’s celebrate!”

“Ari, you’re just looking for an excuse to drink first thing in the morning!” Ylva snapped. Karli wrestled out of Gudrid’s grasp, and she passed a glance at Thorfinn. 

“A celebration sounds good,” they agreed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this took a bit of time compared to the other ones. I think that I could probably do one more chapter after this. And then maybe as this arc continues I'll add more.  
> I planned to have Einar stuff but as the fanfic continued I decided I wanted it to be purely Gudrid/Thorfinn. I have an idea for a different fic after this that's in Thorfinn's perspective and will be mainly Thornar, with a bit of Thordrid mixed in. Figured I'd save my feelings for that, but I also promised myself I'd finish this fic before working on that.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking hard about this and couldn't resist writing even though I have other stuff I should be doing, honestly.  
> I hope you enjoyed. I'm adding to this, this just felt like a good stopping point for now. I'm not sure how far I'll go, we'll see.
> 
> Definitely a far cry from my Dragon Ball fic I've been doing. It's nice, being able to write a happy couple. This may not have ended happy for the time being, but it will. I have ideas, I hope you guys look forward to it.


End file.
